Welcome to the Church of Bigfoot, Scientist!
On The Myth of Bigfoot
Long before the written word, early civilizations drew pictures of
historical events in an effort to record their history for future generations.
Today, archaeologists toil to decipher these images in an effort to understand
the past and therefore, better understand the present. While many of these
ancient glyphs depict the daily lives of hunter and gathering societies, there
is one type of common image that is unique from all others. Around the world,
archaeologists have found depictions of a large, hairy, human-like form that
appears just before the end of these civilizations. Scholars concluded that this
image signifies global Armageddon. This large figure is also found in Native
American oral traditions that speak of a "huge hairy man" who appears in times
of crisis. Recent sightings of a large and hairy "wild" or "free man" in the
Pacific Northwestern United States further validate the existence of a rogue
presence who comes from the wilderness to signify impending
doom. We at the Church of Bigfoot, Scientist are strongly
committed to the belief that Bigfoot has recently made its presence known to
warn humankind of the dangers of unrestrained capitalism. Acting as both
messenger and liberator, Bigfoot calls on us to resist exploitation and to
undermine the brutal economic condition that we call capitalism. We feel it is
our duty to spread the message of Bigfoot in effort to thwart global devastation
brought on by rogue capitalism.
There were giants on the earth in those days. (Genesis
Montani Semper Liberi
"He's a monster, he'll eat anything, alive, dead, fresh, rotten.... He's
a survivor... mobile, quick, fast, and strong.... Anybody who sees a slow
Sasquatch is not in the ball park.... He's got no limits, climbs any mountain,
swims any river. He's got no barriers.... Not an endangered species, thats
us.... He can pull down big game on the run or by stealth, like a cougar....
He can lay down a light track or spring like a deer.... Has a lot of humor,
yet restraint.... Rocks cars and cabins, but lets folks go.... We agonize, he
couldn't care less.... An opportunist at the top of the food chain, in great
shape--he's got it made! Adapted to cutover lands, lives a good rugged
existence.... He's got no need for wages, lives off the fat of the land, and
pays no taxes!"
-Jim Hewkin, retired fish and game professional from Oregon, quoted
Pyle, Robert Michael. Where Bigfoot Walks: Crossing the Dark Divide.
Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1995, page 204.
These guys don't want to find Bigfoot--they want to be Bigfoot.
- Link to Peter
Mathiessen's witnessing to the Faith of Rugaru
- Our first BIGFOOT
OUTREACH EPISTLE flyer.
- View The Big One
in all His Glory: a portrait from Life by JZOG
Go to The ARMCHAIR
ANARCHIST'S Temple of the Sedentary Arts, our political affiliates.
Contact the Church at [email protected]
All materials on the main page anti-copyright 2000 The Church of Bigfoot,
Last updated with visionary expediency in preparation for the
BIGFOOT FESTIVAL in Willow Creek, CA, September 2nd 2000.